i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
