My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
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when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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