i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
