We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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