Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
May the power of my ass compel you!!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
