Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
