I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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