Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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