I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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