I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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