you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
