i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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