There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
