I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"