Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
