is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
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