someone get that fucking seahorse.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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