My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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