just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
