why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
