I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
