so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My first STD was from a foam party
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
