based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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