ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We are two peas in an std pod
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
