All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
