Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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