Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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