Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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