At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar