Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle