Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize