It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
