This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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