I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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