I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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