moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
