i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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