dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
