Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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