Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
