I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
