he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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