HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
