does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
