He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
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hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize