yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
accomplished twins. life is a go
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
