In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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