i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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