I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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