she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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