its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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