people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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