The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
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