Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
