i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize