Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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