You're completely useless in the revolution.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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