Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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