Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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