you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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