So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
