Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
