You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize