I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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