Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
