Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i barfeds in our rink
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
