I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
